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In the Future...

Mel Torme is outed as Governor of Illinois.





In an impressive display of biotechnology, scientists are able to clone "The Velvet Fog" from DNA left on a martini glass in his [former] widow's home. Mel Torme originally died from stroke complications on June 5, 1999, but was miraculously reborn on January 17, 2028.

Strangely, the second Mel Torme had no particular musical aptitude. After a few unsuccessful attempts at song-writing and recording, not to mention the disastrous reunion tour involving cloned replicas of Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, and Sammy Davis, Jr., Torme wisely sought career counseling. At the age of 35, he was admitted to Harvard to study Law. He passed the bar on the first try in 2068, and his first court case was the high-profile Class Action Suit against Bob Hope.

After several years of lucrative law practice, he retired to Schaumburg, IL, where he lived happily with a (much younger) version of his original wife. In 2089, after the Campaign Finance Reform riots and the secession of Minnesota, Torme was a vocal supporter of the Green Libertarian Socialist Party. Voter dissatisfaction was at an all-time high, and Torme had his finger on the pulse of the Midwest. What started out as a protest (a write-in campaign to elect him Lieutenant Governor of Illinois) took off like wildfire, particularly after endorsements by Eleanor Roosevelt, Ayn Rand, and Rachel Carson.

Sadly, Torme narrowly lost the election. The governor-elect, Jesse Ventura, Jr., not wishing to repeat the mistakes of yesteryear (and no doubt wishing to heal some of the wounds still lingering from the terrible Civil War which had raged for so long between Indiana and Illinois), invited Torme into his shadow cabinet. Over time, he became Ventura's most trusted advisor. From behind the scenes, Torme was able to set policy and manipulate public opinion, truly the best of all possible worlds.

The psychotropic nanobots, combined with the fourth assassination attempt, left Ventura unable to cope with anything heavier than a charity auction or highly staged photo op. Control rested firmly in Torme's hands, and he used his power to build a technology infrastructure and eradicate the laws restricting Amish immigration.

And that's how he transformed Illinois into the successful monarchy which it is today.

as seen by Future Historian and Graduate Student of Kibology, Michele Liguori

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